You Need Help
As I counsel parents of multiples, the single worst mistake I see them
make is to assume they can handle this challenge on their own.
Frequently, the budget is small and hired help is out of the question, so
mom and dad set out to accomplish all child care duties on their own.
Don’t make this mistake! You can’t do it alone.
You don’t necessarily have to spend money to get help. There are
several alternatives. Extended family members often love to help out—
especially if your babies are eating and sleeping on a schedule. Some
high schools, colleges, seminaries, and yeshivas near your home may
offer classes in childhood development. Your home could become a
learning lab for a kindhearted student. Churches and synagogues are
filled with people available to lend a helping hand—you need only ask. If
one or more of your children comes home using monitors, you may be a
candidate for in-home nursing care at the state’s expense. To find out
about this possibility, check with the social worker associated with the
neonatal intensive care unit of your hospital or your pediatrician.
When someone asks if they can help, always say “Yes, please!” Keep
a daily planner handy so you can give all who offer help an exact date and
time they can serve you, right there on the spot; and immediately assign
them a job. You may want help with baby care or, if your volunteers have
limited time, ask them to help with your weekly errands—the laundry,
post office, grocery store, pharmacy, and so on. Delegating is one of the
keys to preserving your sanity with multiples.
Let’s Talk about Feeding
Are you going to breast-feed? A mother of multiples often can breast-
feed. Whether this is the right choice for you and your babies is entirely
up to you and your children to determine. Much will depend on your
babies’ maturity at birth and whether or not they require NICU care;
whether or not you had a cesarean section; and how many babies you
have. Mothers of twins are more successful at breast-feeding than