Individual time is essential to happy multiples. They need
independent play time each day, and they also need individual, one on
one time with mommy and daddy. By necessity we tend to think of
multiples as a unit. We feed, change, dress, and bathe them all at the
same time. It’s much easier to make sure you are being fair and that
everyone’s needs are being met if you keep the babies on a schedule and
do all major daily activities collectively. How you structure wake-time
and the way you plan the babies’ play activities can offer a break from
the monotony of cookie-cutter baby care. Leave all but one of the babies
with your spouse or a helper and take just one for a walk or on an errand
to the store. Or read just one a story while the others play independently.
As multiples enter toddlerhood, they find themselves in a world
where there is always someone else their size grabbing at them or at the
toy they are about to pick up. Time in a playpen for a multiple becomes a
time of refuge. They can do whatever they want there without someone
interrupting them and taking their things. You can have one of nearly
every other piece of equipment, but multiple playpens—one for each
child—is a good early investment. Playpen time also provides a welcome
relief for mommy: she can answer the phone or make lunch while the
children play safely. Begin to practice playpen time at three to four
months of age. Start with just ten minutes a day and slowly increase the
time, so that by one year of age, they can stay in the playpen for at least
forty minutes.
A Word to Husbands
The key to harmonious family life is the primacy of the husband-wife
relationship. All other relationships in the home are impacted—positively
or negatively—by the health and success of the husband-wife
relationship. You will only be as good a parent as you are a spouse. For
this reason, it’s even more essential with multiples that dad help out.
Your wife will only be able to listen to, share, and enjoy you if she feels
your support and encouragement. Your wife is the chief feeder, diaper-
changer, bather, and entertainer of a multiple birth. She has no “down