considerable lack of friendship with their own parents. However,
reducing the parental role to the child’s level or raising the child to the
status of peer will not, in the end, produce friendship. True friendship
cannot be forced before its time.
Time and experience are prerequisites for building any friendship.
Children enter this world with neither. Wisdom, self-control, and the
experiences earned over time must be trained into a child by those
granted this unique privilege—the parents. Responsible parents are their
children’s teachers. The parents lead and the children, as students, follow.
Of course, fun times are welcome. Have fun along the way, but never at
the expense of needed leadership.
Chelsea’s parents understand this, knowing that friendship with their
daughter is a gift that only time can give. In the meantime, they must
represent her best interests. They set the pace in Chelsea’s life and insist
on her compliance. Chelsea, in turn, acquires the sense that she belongs to
something bigger than herself. She belongs to a family with
predetermined guidelines and firmly established order. This realization
for Chelsea gives family relationships meaning and purpose. By the end
of Chelsea’s teen years, a beautiful friendship with her parents will begin
to blossom. Indeed, this should be every parent’s goal.
Achieving a Balance
No one plans to be child-centered. Since infants are entirely dependent on
parental care, their dependency creates for new parents a heightened
gratification. What you need is a strategy for avoiding child-centered
pitfalls. With a bit of forethought and effort, you can meet all your baby’s
needs while still maintaining life beyond baby. Here are a few ideas to
assist in achieving this balance:
- Life doesn’t stop once you have a baby. It may slow down for a few
weeks, but it should not stop entirely. When you become a mother, you
do not stop being a daughter, a sister, a friend, or a wife. Those
relationships, which were important before the baby, still must be
maintained.