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this. (2) Deciding how much contact with birth parents should be allowed,
especially where this is undermining or distressing; their divided loyalty
as to whether they should be allowed to love both their foster parents
and their birth parents (in practice, this is quite possible, but may mean,
for example, making two sets of mothers day cards). Increasingly, court
orders to unsuitable birth parents not to contact their children are being
circumvented by the use of internet social sites such as Facebook, often
with disturbing consequences for the young person. (3) Helping the young
person understand their identity may include acknowledging which phys-
ical and personality characteristics they have inherited from their birth
parents. Even where their birth parents have been very abusive, having a
photograph of them or seeing them once when they are in their later teens
can help the young person to understand where they got their physical
appearance and various mannerisms.
Issues and therapeutic work with foster or
adoptive parents
With looked-after children, there may be conflicts over issues such as
education, which may not meet the child’s needs in the view of pro-
fessionals or the foster parents. However, the legal parent is the local
authority, and the social worker who isin loco parentisfor the child may
be reluctant to pressurise or sue the local authority since it is the social
worker’s own employer. The child mental health team may need to work
hard to encourage the local education department to carry out an adequate
assessment, and even more, to provide adequate education to meet the
special needs.
There can sometimes be ambiguity about whether the foster parents
are to be treated like parents, or as co-professionals, and there may be
issues about what is divulged to them. Adoptive parents may believe
that ‘love will conquer all’, but it may become increasingly apparent that
this is not the case as the child fails to improve, because of inherited
difficulties or ineradicable scars of long-standing abuse. This may have
been compounded by the adoptive parents not being told the true severity
of the background, and being made to believe they should be grateful for
being given a child; and may be further compounded by the allocating
social worker not having a good grasp of the child psychopathology and
the likely long-term prognosis. The adoptive parents may have difficulty
growing to love the adoptive child and bonding with him or her, and they
may need work helping them understand that these things may take a long
time to develop. Guidance may be needed on helping foster or adoptive
parents to explain the true state of affairs to the young person in age-
appropriate terms, and create a storybook for the young person so they
can complete the understanding of their identity.
Around 10% of late adoptive placements (that is, child over 5 years
old on joining the family), and a higher proportion of late fostering