Orphans and Vulnerable Children - CRIN

Grief and Loss

In this activity, you will:

 Discuss grief and loss and how children are affected

Facilitator’s notes:

In this activity, you will be describe what grief is, what it feels like and what effects it has on the person
experiencing it.

Many orphans and vulnerable children may experience emotions of fear, anger, guilt and sadness
after the loss of their parents, regardless of what age they are. Grieving children may display
withdrawal tendencies, sleeplessness and lack of concentration, as well as self-blame and, ultimately,
depression.

Some common myths and beliefs about grieving:
 Children should not participate at funerals
 Orphans will be very difficult children
 The surviving spouse should be cleansed after or before the burial of their spouse otherwise
ghosts or bad luck will haunt them.

Activity 1

Griefrefers to strong feelings of sadness after the loss of someone or something dear.

Lossrefers to being deprived of something or someone very important in one’s life.

Types of grief

Anticipatory grief: Children begin to grieve long before their loved one dies. This is very

common when parents or guardians have HIV/AIDS or any other serious illness.

Children grieve because they anticipate permanent separation from their loved ones.

Delayed grief: Some people may not grieve properly at a funeral because they were

busy making funeral preparations; or children may have been moved and do not

attend the funeral due to some beliefs. They grieve later after the loved one has been

buried.

Reactionary grief: This is immediate grieving.

Blocked grief: Common in individuals who may be in denial. Feelings or thoughts related

to death are blocked or unexpressed.

Aborted grief: Some may fail to grieve the loss of their loved ones. In children this may

happen when they are told that their parents are in heaven or are in a far away place.

Children may not know how to articulate their emotions because they are unable to

reconcile such information with the fact of their parent’s death.

Complicated grief: This is when grief is not expressed directly, but later is characterised

by physical symptoms, behavioural symptoms and disturbed thought patterns (such as

nightmares) and feelings (such as lingering depression).

Guide to Mobilising and Strengthening Community-Led Care for Orphans and Vulnerable Children Unit 2, Module 2^187