Orphans and Vulnerable Children - CRIN

During the process of bereavement counselling, the counsellor can:

 Give the child time to think about the death. Allow them to ask questions, but also accept

their silences. It may be useful to look at photos, share memories and visit the grave together.

 Accept that the child may engage in behaviour, such as physically looking for the deceased.

In a case like this, accompany the child and gently confirm the reality of the death.

 Allow the child to express anger or fears and enable the child to do so without harming

himself, herself or anyone else.

 Without rejecting a child’s feelings, provide simple and honest explanations of the facts about

what has happened. For example, say, ‘I know it’s hard to believe that your mother has died,

but her body was weak and tired and could not carry on’.

 Discuss questions relating to the child’s religious or cultural beliefs. For example, the child might

ask questions such as, ‘Why has God taken my brother away?’ Your response should never imply

that AIDS or death is a form of punishment from God, ‘the spirits’ or another person.

 Help to make the loss real for the child. For example, allow the child to participate in a ritual,

such as a burial ceremony or a funeral, and to keep reminders of the deceased person around.

 Never impose expectations on the child by saying, ‘You will definitely feel much better in three

months’ time’ or ‘It is time you got on with your life’.

 Encourage coping within the whole family and local community. For example, try to ensure

continuity in other areas of the child’s life at home and at school. Also, avoid separating the

child from other loved ones, such as siblings, and address any fears that the child might have

about the future of the family.

For this activity you will need:

 Flipchart and markers

To facilitate this activity:

1 Ask participants to brainstorm ways to support children after the death of a loved one.

Review the symptoms of grief listed in Activity 3. Ask participants to imagine how they would

address each of these symptoms. You could ask volunteers to share personal experiences

about how they comforted grieving children. Add ideas from the facilitator’s notes.

Give the participants the opportunity to discuss and ask questions.

2 Divide participants into groups. Ask each group to brainstorm the different strategies being

used in their own communities to counsel bereaved orphans and vulnerarable children.

List all the strategies and discuss who provides them. In this exercise, participants should add details

of any local counselling services to the Referral Informationsheets in their home visitor’s handbooks.

45 minutes

(^194) Unit 2, Module 2 Guide to Mobilising and Strengthening Community-Led Care for Orphans and Vulnerable Children