he pleased.
Marti told me that she considered a variety of scenarios.
She thought about going right at his jealousy and hashing it
out, or explaining how the job would reflect well on the
Bureau: “Would you like our office to be honored for its
expertise?”
But by the time she sat down with him, she had picked
one of the most strongly worded “No”-oriented setup
questions I have ever heard.
“Do you want the FBI to be embarrassed?” she said.
“No,” he answered.
“What do you want me to do?” she responded.
He leaned back in his chair, one of those 1950s faux-
leather numbers that squeak meaningfully when the sitter
shifts. He stared at her over his glasses and then nodded
ever so slightly. He was in control.
“Look, you can keep the position,” he said. “Just go
back out there and don’t let it interfere with your other
duties.”
And a minute later Marti walked out with her job intact.
When I heard Marti do that, I was like, “Bang!” By pushing
for a “No,” Marti nudged her supervisor into a zone where
he was making the decisions. And then she furthered his
feelings of safety and power with a question inviting him to
define her next move.
The important thing here is that Marti not only accepted
the “No”; she searched it out and embraced it.
At a recent sales conference, I asked the participants for