have assessed what you’ve said and pronounced it as
correct of their own free will. They embrace it.
“That’s right” allowed us to draw out the talks and divert
Sabaya from hurting Schilling. And it gave Philippine
commandos time to mount their rescue operation.
In hostage negotiations, we never tried to get to “yes” as
an endpoint. We knew that “yes” is nothing without “how.”
And when we applied hostage negotiating tactics to
business, we saw how “that’s right” often leads to the best
outcomes.
“THAT’S RIGHT” IS GREAT, BUT IF “YOU’RE
RIGHT,” NOTHING CHANGES
Driving toward “that’s right” is a winning strategy in all
negotiations. But hearing “you’re right” is a disaster.
Take my son, Brandon, and his development as a
football player. He had been playing on the offensive and
defensive lines all through high school. At six foot two and
250 pounds, he was formidable. He loved to knock every
player wearing an opposing jersey to the ground.
Having played quarterback, I didn’t fully appreciate the
blue-collar nature of being a lineman. Linemen are like
mountain goats. They put their heads down and hit things. It
makes them happy.
At St. Thomas More prep school in Connecticut,
Brandon’s coach moved him to linebacker, and his role
suddenly changed from hitting everything he saw to
avoiding players who were trying to block him. He was