understand her dreams and feelings (the whole world that
she inhabits), mental and behavioral change becomes
possible, and the foundation for a breakthrough has been
laid.
Use these lessons to lay that foundation:
■ Creating unconditional positive regard opens the
door to changing thoughts and behaviors.
Humans have an innate urge toward socially
constructive behavior. The more a person feels
understood, and positively affirmed in that
understanding, the more likely that urge for
constructive behavior will take hold.■ “That’s right” is better than “yes.” Strive for it.
Reaching “that’s right” in a negotiation creates
breakthroughs.■ Use a summary to trigger a “that’s right.” The
building blocks of a good summary are a label
combined with paraphrasing. Identify,
rearticulate, and emotionally affirm “the world
according to . . .”