Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

market a few years back. The offer she got was much lower
than she wanted—it meant a big loss for her—and out of
frustration she dropped this F-bomb on the prospective
buyer.
“We just want what’s fair,” she said.
Emotionally rattled by the implicit accusation, the guy
raised his offer immediately.
If you’re on the business end of this accusation, you
need to realize that the other side might not be trying to pick
your pocket; like my friend, they might just be
overwhelmed by circumstance. The best response either
way is to take a deep breath and restrain your desire to
concede. Then say, “Okay, I apologize. Let’s stop
everything and go back to where I started treating you
unfairly and we’ll fix it.”
The second use of the F-bomb is more nefarious. In this
one, your counterpart will basically accuse you of being
dense or dishonest by saying, “We’ve given you a fair
offer.” It’s a terrible little jab meant to distract your attention
and manipulate you into giving in.
Whenever someone tries this on me, I think back to the
last NFL lockout.
Negotiations were getting down to the wire and the NFL
Players Association (NFLPA) said that before they agreed to
a final deal they wanted the owners to open their books. The
owners’ answer?
“We’ve given the players a fair offer.”
Notice the horrible genius of this: instead of opening