Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

his aunt, I was on the phone with the politician’s nephew.
There was no way their family could come up with
$150,000, he told me, but they could pay between $50,000
and $85,000. But since learning that the ransom was just
party money, I was aiming much lower: $5,000. We were
not going to compromise. It was a matter of professional
pride.
I advised him to start off by anchoring the conversation
in the idea that he didn’t have the money, but to do so
without saying “No” so as not to hit their pride head-on.
“How am I supposed to do that?” he asked in the next
call.
The kidnapper made another general threat against the
aunt and again demanded the cash.
That’s when I had the nephew subtly question the
kidnapper’s fairness.
“I’m sorry,” the nephew responded, “but how are we
supposed to pay if you’re going to hurt her?”
That brought up the aunt’s death, which was the thing
the kidnappers most wanted to avoid. They needed to keep
her unharmed if they hoped to get any money. They were
commodity traders, after all.
Notice that to this point the nephew hadn’t named a
price. This game of attrition finally pushed the kidnappers to
name a number first. Without prodding, they dropped to
$50,000.
Now that the kidnappers’ reality had been bent to a
smaller number, my colleagues and I told the nephew to