Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

A few years ago, I was consulting with a client who had a
small firm that did public relations for a large corporation.
The folks at the big company were not paying their bills,
and as time went on, they owed my client more and more
money. They kept her on the hook by promising lots of
repeat business, implying that she would get a pile of
revenue if she just kept working. She felt trapped.
My advice for her was simple: I told her to engage them
in a conversation where she summarized the situation and
then asked, “How am I supposed to do that?”
She shook her head. No way. The idea of having to ask
this question just terrified her. “If they tell me I have to, then
I’m trapped!” was her reaction.
She also heard the question as “You’re screwing me out
of money and it has to stop.” That sounded like the first step
to her getting fired as a consultant.
I explained to her that this implication, though real, was
in her mind. Her client would hear the words and not the
implication as long as she kept calm and avoided making it
sound by her delivery like an accusation or threat. As long
as she stayed cool, they would hear it as a problem to be
solved.
She didn’t quite believe me. We walked through the
script several times, but she was still afraid. Then a few days
later she called me, totally giddy with happiness. The client
had called with another request and she had finally gotten
up the courage to summarize the situation, and ask, “How
am I supposed to do that?”