and I developed a strategy that showed him she understood
where she went wrong and acknowledged his power, while
at the same time directing his energy toward solving her
problem.
The script we came up with hit all the best practices of
negotiation we’ve talked about so far. Here it is by steps:
- A “No”-oriented email question to reinitiate
contact: “Have you given up on settling this
amicably?” - A statement that leaves only the answer of
“That’s right” to form a dynamic of agreement:
“It seems that you feel my bill is not justified.” - Calibrated questions about the problem to get
him to reveal his thinking: “How does this bill
violate our agreement?” - More “No”-oriented questions to remove
unspoken barriers: “Are you saying I misled
you?” “Are you saying I didn’t do as you
asked?” “Are you saying I reneged on our
agreement?” or “Are you saying I failed you?” - Labeling and mirroring the essence of his
answers if they are not acceptable so he has to
consider them again: “It seems like you feel my
work was subpar.” Or “. . . my work was