“When we run out of money, what will happen?” Aaron
asked.
The kidnapper paused.
“It will be all right,” he finally responded.
Yes!
Without realizing what he had just agreed to, our killer
had just promised us he wouldn’t hurt Alastair. A repetitive
series of “What” and “How” questions can help you
overcome the aggressive tactics of a manipulative
adversary.
As you can see in that last exchange, the kidnapper’s
protracted chats with Aaron had turned Aaron almost into a
friend. Over time the kidnapper had become unguarded
about spending time on the phone with his “friend.” Finally,
the Philippine National Police investigators tracked the
phone to a house and raided it. The kidnapper and Alastair
were not there, but the kidnapper’s wife was. She told the
police about another house they owned. The police quickly
raided the other house, freed Alastair, and arrested the
kidnapper.
There are plenty of other tactics, tools, and methods for
using subtle verbal and nonverbal forms of communication
to understand and modify the mental states of your
counterpart. As I run through some of them here, I want you
to take a moment to internalize each one. These are the kind
of tools that can help observant negotiators hit home runs.