Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

bargaining session, kick-ass negotiators don’t use ZOPA.
Experienced negotiators often lead with a ridiculous offer,
an extreme anchor. And if you’re not prepared to handle it,
you’ll lose your moorings and immediately go to your
maximum. It’s human nature. Like the great ear-biting
pugilist Mike Tyson once said, “Everybody has a plan until
they get punched in the mouth.”
As a well-prepared negotiator who seeks information
and gathers it relentlessly, you’re actually going to want the
other guy to name a price first, because you want to see his
hand. You’re going to welcome the extreme anchor. But
extreme anchoring is powerful and you’re human: your
emotions may well up. If they do there are ways to weather
the storm without bidding against yourself or responding
with anger. Once you learn these tactics, you’ll be prepared
to withstand the hit and counter with panache.
First, deflect the punch in a way that opens up your
counterpart. Successful negotiators often say “No” in one of
the many ways we’ve talked about (“How am I supposed to
accept that?”) or deflect the anchor with questions like
“What are we trying to accomplish here?” Responses like
these are great ways to refocus your counterpart when you
feel you’re being pulled into the compromise trap.
You can also respond to a punch-in-the-face anchor by
simply pivoting to terms. What I mean by this is that when
you feel you’re being dragged into a haggle you can detour
the conversation to the nonmonetary issues that make any
final price work.