A more subtle technique is to label your negative
leverage and thereby make it clear without attacking.
Sentences like “It seems like you strongly value the fact that
you’ve always paid on time” or “It seems like you don’t
care what position you are leaving me in” can really open
up the negotiation process.
NORMATIVE LEVERAGE
Every person has a set of rules and a moral framework.
Normative leverage is using the other party’s norms and
standards to advance your position. If you can show
inconsistencies between their beliefs and their actions, you
have normative leverage. No one likes to look like a
hypocrite.
For example, if your counterpart lets slip that they
generally pay a certain multiple of cash flow when they buy
a company, you can frame your desired price in a way that
reflects that valuation.
Discovering the Black Swans that give you normative
valuation can be as easy as asking what your counterpart
believes and listening openly. You want to see what
language they speak, and speak it back to them.
KNOW THEIR RELIGION
In March 2003 I led the negotiation with a farmer who
became one of the most unlikely post-9/11 terrorists you can
imagine.
The drama started when Dwight Watson, a North