always wanted and conveys a purposeful plan of how to get
there, we allow our perceptions of what’s possible to
change. We’re all hungry for a map to joy, and when
someone is courageous enough to draw it for us, we
naturally follow.
So when you ascertain your counterpart’s unattained
goals, invoke your own power and follow-ability by
expressing passion for their goals—and for their ability to
achieve them.
Ted Leonsis is great at this. As the owner of the
Washington Wizards professional basketball team and the
Washington Capitals professional hockey team, he is always
talking about creating the immortal moments in sports that
people will tell their grandchildren about. Who doesn’t want
to come to an agreement with someone who is going to
make them immortal?
RELIGION AS A REASON
Research studies have shown that people respond favorably
to requests made in a reasonable tone of voice and followed
with a “because” reason.
In a famous study from the late 1970s,^3 Harvard
psychology professor Ellen Langer and her colleagues
approached people waiting for copy machines and asked if
they could cut the line. Sometimes they gave a reason;
sometimes they didn’t. What she found was crazy: without
her giving a reason, 60 percent let her through, but when