Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

his unwitting accomplice, thinking our original police
department negotiator was still handling our end. We knew
this because he kept calling me “Joe,” which told us he’d
been in the loop early on, and somewhat less involved as
the stalemate dragged on.
At the very least, the disconnect told me these guys
weren’t exactly on the same page—but I didn’t jump to
correct him.
Another thing: it sounded like this second guy was
speaking through a towel, or a sweatshirt—like he was
biting on some kind of fabric, even. Going to all these
lengths to mask his voice, which meant he was clearly
scared. He was nervous, jumpy as hell, anxious over how
this standoff was going down.
I tried to set him at ease—still with the downward-
inflecting DJ voice. I said, “Nobody’s going anywhere.” I
said, “Nobody’s gonna get hurt.”
After about a minute and a half, the jumpiness seemed to
disappear. The muffled voice, too. His voice came through
much more clearly as he said, “I trust you, Joe.”
The more I kept this second guy on the phone, the more
it became clear he was someplace he did not want to be.
Bobby wanted out—and, of course, he wanted out without
getting hurt. He was already in deep, but he didn’t want it to
get any deeper. He didn’t start out that day planning to rob a
bank, but it took hearing my calm voice on the other end of
the phone for him to start to see a way out. The seventh-
largest standing army in the world was at the ready outside