Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

making every effort not to scream back. After she’d said,
“There’s nothing I can do,” five times, the angry couple
finally gave up and left.
To start, watch how Ryan turns that heated exchange to
his advantage. Following on the heels of an argument is a
great position for a negotiator, because your counterpart is
desperate for an empathetic connection. Smile, and you’re
already an improvement.
“Hi, Wendy, I’m Ryan. It seems like they were pretty
upset.”
This labels the negative and establishes a rapport based
on empathy. This in turn encourages Wendy to elaborate on
her situation, words Ryan then mirrors to invite her to go
further.
“Yeah. They missed their connection. We’ve had a fair
amount of delays because of the weather.”
“The weather?”
After Wendy explains how the delays in the Northeast
had rippled through the system, Ryan again labels the
negative and then mirrors her answer to encourage her to
delve further.
“It seems like it’s been a hectic day.”
“There’ve been a lot of ‘irate consumers,’ you know? I
mean, I get it, even though I don’t like to be yelled at. A lot
of people are trying to get to Austin for the big game.”
“The big game?”
“UT is playing Ole Miss football and every flight into
Austin has been booked solid.”