Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Booked solid?”
Now let’s pause. Up to this point, Ryan has been using
labels and mirrors to build a relationship with Wendy. To
her it must seem like idle chatter, though, because he hasn’t
asked for anything. Unlike the angry couple, Ryan is
acknowledging her situation. His words ping-pong between
“What’s that?” and “I hear you,” both of which invite her to
elaborate.
Now that the empathy has been built, she lets slip a piece
of information he can use.
“Yeah, all through the weekend. Though who knows
how many people will make the flights. The weather’s
probably going to reroute a lot of people through a lot of
different places.”
Here’s where Ryan finally swoops in with an ask. But
notice how he acts: not assertive or coldly logical, but with
empathy and labeling that acknowledges her situation and
tacitly puts them in the same boat.
“Well, it seems like you’ve been handling the rough day
pretty well,” he says. “I was also affected by the weather
delays and missed my connecting flight. It seems like this
flight is likely booked solid, but with what you said, maybe
someone affected by the weather might miss this
connection. Is there any possibility a seat will be open?”
Listen to that riff: Label, tactical empathy, label. And
only then a request.
At this point, Wendy says nothing and begins typing on
her computer. Ryan, who’s eager not to talk himself out of a