■ Thinking independently
■ Building problem-solving skills
■ Dealing with put-downsOutcomes Offered
■ Independent thinking
■ Self-reliance
■ Solution-focused thinkingOnce there was a boy... or it could have been a girl. In fact, we can make it about whomever
we want because I am sure there is still something important in the story for you whether you think
of it as about a boy or a girl.
Once there was a boy who lived at home with his mother. He and his mother were both poor
and he did not have a father, though I don’t remember that I ever knew why that was. All his life this
boy had always done whatever his mother told him to do and never really learned to think for him-
self. At first, many parents might think it would be wonderful to have such an obedient child, but as
we shall see, it may not always be helpful.
Just why this boy didn’t think for himself I don’t know, either. Perhaps we could make some
guesses—like, his mother might have always done the thinking for him, or he might have felt scared
to think for himself, or he might have worried about doing something wrong if he made his own
choices, or it might have been easier to go along with what he was told, or perhaps he just couldn’t
be bothered to think for himself. There could be many reasons, but whatever they were, that was
where he was at the time of our story.
Because the boy and his mother didn’t have much money, his mother needed him to work to
help pay for their food and rent. Each day after school and on the weekends, the boy would go look-
ing for jobs in his community. One Monday he found work in the local hardware store stacking bags
of cement. It was hard, but he was a reasonably strong boy for his age and when he had finished the
shop owner gave him $10 for his efforts. As he was carrying it home in his hand it dropped out of his
grip and blew away before he had the chance to catch it. When he got home and told his mother,
she told him off. “You silly boy,” she said, “you should have put it in your pocket.”
“I promise I will do as you say next time, Mother,” he answered.
On Tuesday he got a job in the village grocery shop. It was much easier work than stacking bags
of cement, but the rewards were not the same, either. At the end of the day the shopkeeper gave him
a nice box of chocolates for his efforts. Remembering his promise to his mother, he put the choco-
lates in his pocket and made the long walk home. When he pulled the box out to show his mother,
all the chocolates had melted. Again his mother told him off. “You silly boy, you should have carried
them in a plastic bag.”
“I’m sorry, Mother,” he apologized. “I’ll remember to do what you say next time.”
On Wednesday he got a job in a pet store. He enjoyed working with the animals and, seeing this,
the pet store owner thanked him for his efforts by giving him a cat. Remembering what his mother
had told him, the boy put the cat in a plastic bag and started to carry it home, but the cat quickly
clawed its way out and ran away. When he told his mother the tale she told him off again. “You silly
boy, you should have tied a string around its neck and led it along behind you.”
CHANGING BEHAVIORChanging Patterns of Behavior 89