STORY 27
A GESTURE THAT CHANGED A WHOLE SUBURBTherapeutic Characteristics
Problems Addressed
■ Fixed patterns of behavior
■ Need to change feelings
■ Lack of influence
■ PowerlessnessResources Developed
■ Joyfulness
■ Happiness
■ Communicating warm gesturesOutcomes Offered
■ Awareness that simple gestures can have big influences
■ Awareness that happiness can be communicated, effectively
■ Knowing that one person can make important changes
Do your parents drive you to school in the morning? Is there a crossing guard holding a red stop
sign where the children have to cross the street? Where I live all the kids call the crossing guard the
lollypop man. It seems a strange thing to call a crossing guard, doesn’t it? I think the name comes from
when they used to hold a round stop sign on a long pole that looked like a big lollypop. The lolly-
pop man at my son’s school, through one simple thing he did, changed the behavior of a whole sub-
urb. The first time I remember noticing him was when he waved to me as I drove my son to school.
I think he must have been a new crossing guard for that school.
He presented me with a puzzle. He posed me a mystery—all because he waved to me like some-
one does on seeing a really close friend. A big, broad smile accompanied his wave. For the next cou-
ple of days I tried to discreetly study his face to see if I knew him. I didn’t. Perhaps he had mistaken
me for someone else. Perhaps he thought he recognized my car as that of a friend. By the time I con-
tented myself with the conclusion that he and I were strangers, we were smiling and waving warmly
to each other every morning like old friends.
Then one day the mystery was solved. As I approached the school he was standing in his orange
safety vest in the middle of the road holding out his stop sign. I was in line behind about four other
cars. Once the kids had reached the safety of the sidewalk on the opposite side, he lowered his sign
and motioned the cars through. To the first he waved and smiled in just the same way he had done
to me over the last few days. The kids in the first car were familiar with the warm morning greeting.
They already had the window down and were happily leaning out to wave their reply. The second
car got the same greeting from the crossing guard, and the driver, a stiff-looking businessman in a
dark suit, gave a brief, almost embarrassed wave back. Each following vehicle of kids on their way to
school responded more heartily.
CHANGING BEHAVIORChanging Patterns of Behavior 95