101 Healing Stories for Kids and Teens

by himself and, though he wouldn’t have said anything about it to his friends at school, at times he
cried himself to sleep.
He didn’t want his parents to separate, but when they did I think he hoped things would be hap-
pier. And in some ways they were—but in some ways, they weren’t. Whenever his mom and dad got
together or needed to talk on the phone they were yelling and screaming again. It felt bad that this
mostly seemed to be about Jason or his younger brother, Clayton. You see, Jason loved his mom, and
he loved his dad, and he hated the times when they put him in the position of having to choose
whether he spent the weekend or vacation with mom or dad.
Then a test came. Sometime after his parents had separated, his dad had decided he needed a
two-week vacation and planned it at the end of term so as not to miss his school vacation time
with the boys. At the same time as Jason’s dad made his plans, Jason’s mom decided to take the
boys on a trip for two weeks of the school vacation. That meant a month before they saw their
dad and he saw them. Dad was upset. He said he couldn’t change his plane tickets. Mom was up-
set; she had already bought tickets, too, she said, and the boys were looking forward to getting
away.
His dad asked Jason if he would like to stay with him instead of going away with his mother.
They would do something special, he promised.
Jason felt terrible. If he said yes, his mom would be unhappy and probably even angry. If he said
no, his dad would be unhappy and maybe even angry. What could he do? No matter what he did it
was going to be wrong... and that meant Jason was unhappy.
It was Jason’s dad, not Jason, who told me what Jason did. In fact, Jason’s answer made his dad
stop and think. He said it made him realize that he shouldn’t be making his son responsible, that he
and his wife needed to sort out the way they solved their problems rather than drag in the boys.
Now, some parents realize this... and some don’t. Sometimes there are things that kids can say
that might be helpful... and sometimes there aren’t. I have heard it said that there are times when
no matter what you do it’s likely to be wrong, so you might as well be wrong doing what you be-
lieve is right.
Sometimes it helps to let other people know what you think... and sometimes it’s helpful just
to know it yourself. What Jason said was this: “Dad, I am only nine years old.”

STORY 85

COPING WITH ILLNESS

Therapeutic Characteristics

Problems Addressed

■ Illness

■ Fear

■ Loneliness

■ Unfamiliar medical procedures

MANAGING CHALLENGES

Managing Life’s Challenging Times 199