STORY 90
LEARNING TO CARE FOR YOURSELFTherapeutic Characteristics
Problems Addressed
■ Substance abuse
■ Being stuck
■ Caught in undesired, unhelpful friendships
■ Feeling powerless
■ Lack of self-directionResources Developed
■ Acknowledging the need for change
■ Continuing to search when all else fails
■ Finding direction and purpose
■ Acknowledging the need for self-caring
■ Developing self-caring strategiesOutcomes Offered
■ Learning to care for yourself
■ Looking at what matters most
■ Discovering self-empowering strategies
■ Finding that circumstances can change for the betterLet me tell you about a couple of people I know. Well, one isn’t quite a person. He’s Philip, my
teddy bear, and he’s right here. Let me introduce you. The other is Peta, whose parents brought her
along to see me, too. Peta and Philip met here in my office and had a conversation that would change
Peta’s life.
Peta had a big problem: She was hooked on drugs. She knew it was a problem but felt trapped.
Most of her friends were into drugs. If she stopped, would she lose her friends and be alone? Her
boyfriend, who was a few years older than Peta, had done time for drugs. He supplied her and pushed
her around a bit at times. If she stopped, would she lose him and feel even more lonely? Could she
cope on her own? A part of her wanted to break free but another part felt powerless to do so.
Tr ying to quit, and withdraw, was not without problems either. In fact, her family was the big
problem here. They were well known in the community and she didn’t want to do anything that
would hurt them. She didn’t want to go to any public clinic for fear of giving them a bad name. So
she struggled on, stuck where she didn’t want to be, but not seeing a way out.
Peta could be strong at times. She stood up for herself by letting me know that she didn’t much
like my office. I think she felt confined and uneasy behind a shut door so I asked, “Where would you
prefer to talk? What’s going to be the most comfortable way for you to work through this?”
She suggested we talk as we walked through a nearby park—so we did. Peta seemed more re-
208 Healing Stories, Teaching Stories