good at, he said riding his bike. He had a BMX bike that he rode competitively and did tricks with,
so he already possessed an ability to get on top of scary feelings. By metaphorically talking about how
he’d overcome previous fear—such as when he first rode a tabletop or jumped a set of whoopee-
do’s, or when he tried a new trick like sliding his grinders down the bar at the skate park—he learned
to generalize that ability to overcoming his fear of eating new or different foods.
Find the Exceptions
Look for the times when the child experiences, or partially experiences, the desired behavior. When
is the problem absent, or lessened? When is the desired outcome present? What are the exceptions
to the rule? Are there times when a young insomniac sleeps well, an elective mute speaks, a drug ad-
dict says no to a fix, a depressed child laughs, or a bully shows tenderness?
Story 57, “Finding Exceptions to Problems,” describes how to build this area of resources
through the example of Chrissie, who became school avoidant when other children were picking on
her. Her mother helps her build the resources of thinking specifically, looking for the positives, seek-
ing solutions, and finding exceptions to the global, negative concepts she had developed. Once the
exceptions have been accessed then therapy needs to explore what circumstances facilitate the ex-
ceptions and how they can be replicated.
Build the Necessary Resources
As children are still learning, growing, and developing, each developmental stage adds to the skills
necessary for appropriately managing an adult life. Coping with the death of someone close may
not be an experience the child has previously encountered and, consequently, he or she may not
have learned the appropriate skills of grieving and adjusting. If the necessary skills are not already
within that child’s repertoire then it may be appropriate to ask, what is missing? What does the child
need that he or she hasn’t yet acquired, and how can we help teach those skills in the therapeutic
context?
“Learning New Tricks” (Story 26) talks of a boy who needs to build a skill he does not yet have—
controlling his bladder. With the help of a friend’s father, who owned a circus, Andy discovered it
was possible to learn new skills, such as juggling. In doing so, he became aware of capabilities he had
not realized he possessed, practiced improving these new abilities, and shifted his focus from his prob-
lems to his resources. It is a tale that walks the child step by step through building the necessary skills
to resolve his problem and enhance his self-confidence.
Create New Possibilities
Therapy needs to be aimed at opening opportunities for new learning. By building resources,
metaphor therapy creates new learning experiences at cognitive, emotional, and behavioral levels.
Such stories provide the opportunity to experience something that the listener has not yet experi-
enced, and show ways that experience can be managed, or even enjoyed. This is illustrated in both
the child and adolescent versions of “Heightening Pleasure” (Stories 41 and 42), which are aimed at
creating new possibilities, opening awareness of sensory pleasure, and developing options for enjoy-
ment and well-being. The story builds resources through a metaphor that aims to create new op-
portunities and new discoveries.
260 Creating Your Own Healing Stories for Kids