SOME VALUES OF TEACHING PARENTS TO USE METAPHORSYapko laments that “Storytelling seems to have become an art on the decline” (2003, p. 322). He
adds that television has so saturated our society that we have become passive viewers of experience
and that interactions with people have diminished as we spend more time “talking” to computers.
Apart from this concern that the personal, interactive art of storytelling is being lost, I have an added
concern that the content or natureof the stories children hear is also changing. Many computer games
are based on stories of violence and aggression, while many television programs—even cartoons—
tell tales of war, murder, violence, and disturbed relationships. They are based on a principle of en-
tertainment rather than on the traditional principles of using stories to communicate values and es-
sential life skills.
The nature of the media-based stories that we, and our children, hear doeshave an impact. It ef-
fects how we behave and how we respond, even if there may be many individual variations in the
types of responses we make. If not, would companies spend so much on advertising the stories of
their products and services? With the sort of stories that our children are hearing from so many dif-
ferent sources in their life, we need to ask whether one story, told once in a therapist’s office, is go-
ing to counterbalance the stories children hear through television news items, computer games,
disturbed family relationships, pop songs, or violent schoolyard behavior. It may, but it may not.
However,within this age of technology we can continue to tell our children helpful, adaptive stories,
to reclaim the art of storytelling and communicate the nature of stories that are judged appropriate
by informed parents, teachers, or therapists. Hearing them, with reasonable frequency, from persons
a child is close to, loves, or respects in the context of a caring relationship can enhance their potency.
Thus, it seems logical and desirable to teach parents and other caregivers to do for their children what
we as therapists or teachers might do.
Enhancing Parent-Child Relationships
At the beginning of this book we looked at the intimacy of the relationship formed when a grand-
parent sits a child on his or her lap and reads a story, or when a parent sits by a child’s bedside at night
to tell a tale that may precede a restful slumber. In such situations, there is a special bonding, close-
ness, and intimacy that exist between teller and listener. When my grandson was younger and I picked
him up for our special times together, the words were spilling out of his mouth almost before he was
in his seat and had the seat belt fastened: “Tell me a Fred Mouse story.” Fred Mouse helped bond us
in a unique relationship. He was a special character who existed only for the two of us, and through
whom we could journey on adventures, reflect on experiences of our day, discover new learnings,
and explore ways of resolving the problems of childhood. By inviting parents to story-tell, you are
indirectly encouraging a process for enhancing the parent-child relationship.
Learning from the Main Teachers
Usually, parents are the main teachers in a young child’s life. In general, they are the ones who are
there from birth, the ones who spend the most time with the child, and the ones who provide the
role model for how to behave, interact, and respond to life’s various situations. They communicate
268 Creating Your Own Healing Stories for Kids