class laughs and the young boy shrinks in embarrassment. He later relives the late arrival, the teacher’s
words, and the laughter of his peers. Over and over he tells himself the same story, becoming more
withdrawn and less inclined to put his hand up to answer questions in class. He tries to make himself
look small and insignificant when the teacher is looking for volunteers. The story that he tells him-
self about making mistakes in public, about being put down, and about feeling embarrassed contin-
ues to be relived again and again in his mind. It is a story that told not only what had happenedbut be-
gan to determine what would happenin the future.
Conversely, let us take the example of a child with a particular skill in athletics. She wins most of
her races at school and has received accolades from parents, teachers, and peers. The story that she tells
herself of a particular win determines how she will approach the next school competition. Her story
of past success is likely to enhance her feeling of confidence, and thus contribute to her future success.
As we are constantly telling stories to others and ourselves, as we are constantly hearing stories
from others, so we are defining not only what the past has been but what the future will be. Our ex-
pectations when asking for a story from someone are not unrealistic, for we are requesting something
the other person iscapable of providing: We are all storytellers, and have been all our lives. We do
not have to start from scratch when it comes to the art of storytelling because we are already in a po-
sition to enhance and refine this skill, and to use it effectively in therapy. It is not a question of whether
we can tell a story so much as how wellwe do so. The guidelines in this section are designed to help
hone some of those skills.
- Use Your Own Enthusiasm Rather Than Techniques
If you are going to tell stories, make it fun. Kids love stories, they are a great audience, and it is easy
with such enthusiastic and relatively uncritical listeners to make it an enjoyable process, both for you
and for them. Start by telling stories that you get pleasure in telling. Do not concern yourself so much
with the techniques or steps for storytelling but simply use the most important ingredient: your own
enthusiasm—the sort of story that begins “Wow, you wouldn’t believe what happened to me today.”
It is this enthusiasm that adds the mood or feeling to the story. It is what gives it its spontaneity and
life. It is what captures and holds the listener’s attention.
Let your stories express what you want to say with enthusiasm, enjoyment, and reality, rather
than focusing on the techniques of how they are told at this stage. The techniques you can learn and
EFFECTIVE STORYTELLINGGuidelines for Effective Storytelling 17
EXERCISE 2.1
■ Practice telling a story of something that occurred during your day, whether it was an
experience from which you learned something, an incident that was humorous, or
something you want to share with a special person.
■ Listen to the stories that other people tell about their day-to-day experiences.
■ Observe particularly how children use stories. If you have children in your life, ask
them about their day, and listen to the stories that they tell and how they communi-
cate the things that are important.