STORY 15
DISCOVERING YOUR SPECIALNESSTherapeutic Characteristics
Problems Addressed
■ Not feeling special
■ Sibling rivalry
■ Feeling inadequate
■ Comparing yourself to others—unfavorablyResources Developed
■ Learning that helping others can help yourself
■ Showing kindness
■ Accepting your own abilities
■ Listening to how others value youOutcomes Offered
■ Self-acceptance
■ Being yourself
■ Discovering your own specialness
If there was one thing Jill could wish for, it was to feel special, because she couldn’t remember
that she ever had. Of course, there probably had been times in her life when she had felt very special,
but those times were ones she did not remember easily. Maybe there were times when she was a re-
ally young baby and her parents were so pleased and proud that she had arrived. She probably didn’t
remember how her mother, father, grandparents, and others leaned over the cot and made funny
baby-sounds at her. She probably didn’t recall what great delight they took in watching her begin to
crawl, walk, and talk. I have no way of knowing when things began to change—whether her par-
ents changed, or Jill changed, or it was a bit of both. Maybe it had something to do with when her
little sister was born and Jill started to think that this new baby was getting all the attention. It seemed
that everyone thought she was more special than Jill.
Going to school didn’t help. It always seemed that there was someone better than Jill, someone
whom others took more notice of than her. She wanted to be special herself.
Jill was not the top student in her class, like Emma was. While she was certainly not at the bot-
tom of the class, either, she wished she could be more like Emma, who always topped every subject.
Jill noticed when report cards were handed out at school that Emma’s mom was always at the gate
waiting for her. After studying Emma’s card, her mother would give Emma a big hug and promise
her a reward, like buying her a special gift or taking her to see a movie. But Jill’s report card always
said, “could do better” or “could try harder.” Her parents said the same when she got it home: “We
are pleased to see that you passed everything, but maybe you can do better next term.”
Jill didn’t feel special at sports, either. She could run and swim all right, but she never got selected
for the school teams like Penny did. Consequently, Jill often found herself wishing she could be more
70 Healing Stories, Teaching Stories