Genius Foods

something only old people get?
How could she have it, and at this age?
Grandma is ninety-four and she’s fine.
Why is mom acting so calm? Does she understand what
this means? Do I?
How long does she have before . . . whatever comes
next?
What does come next?
The neurologist had mentioned “Parkinson’s Plus.” Plus
what? “Plus” had sounded like a bonus. Economy Plus
means more legroom—usually a good thing. Pert Plus was
shampoo plus conditioner, also a good thing. No. My mom
was prescribed medicines for Parkinson’s disease plus
Alzheimer’s disease. Her “bonus feature” was the symptoms
of a bonus disease.
As I read about the pills I was still holding, repeating
phrases stuck out to me.
“No disease-modifying ability.”
“Limited efficacy.”
“Like a Band-Aid.”
Even the doctor had seemed resigned. (I later learned a
cold joke circulated among med school students about
neurology: “Neurologists don’t treat disease, they admire
it.”)
That night I was sitting alone in our Holiday Inn suite, a
couple of blocks from the hospital. My mom was in the
other room, and I was at my computer, manically reading
anything I could find on both Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s
disease, even though my mom’s symptoms did not fit neatly
into either diagnosis. Confused, uninformed, and feeling