can have profound effects even when they are false—when they are nothing more than ideology,”
writes the psychologist Barry Schwartz. “These effects can arise because sometimes when people act
on the basis of ideology, they inadvertently arrange the very conditions that bring reality into
correspondence with the ideology.” When people assume that others aren’t givers, they act and speak
in ways that discourage others from giving, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
As a structured form of giving, the Reciprocity Ring is designed to disrupt this self-fulfilling
prophecy. The first step is to make sure that people ask for help. Research shows that at work, the
vast majority of giving that occurs between people is in response to direct requests for help. In one
study, managers described times when they gave and received help. Of all the giving exchanges that
occurred, roughly 90 percent were initiated by the recipient asking for help. Yet when we have a
need, we’re often reluctant to ask for help. Much of the time, we’re embarrassed: we don’t want to
look incompetent or needy, and we don’t want to burden others. As one Wharton dean explains, “The
students call it Game Face: they feel pressured to look successful all the time. There can’t be any
chinks in their armor, and opening up would make them vulnerable.”
In the Reciprocity Ring, because everyone is making a request, there’s little reason to be
embarrassed. By making requests explicit and specific, participants provide potential givers with
clear direction about how to contribute effectively. As in Freecycle, the Reciprocity Ring often starts
with givers stepping up as role models for contributions. But in every Reciprocity Ring, there are
likely to be many matchers and some people who prefer to operate as takers. For a generalized giving
system to achieve sustainable effectiveness, as in Freecycle, these matchers and takers need to
contribute. Otherwise, the givers will end up helping everyone while receiving little in return, placing
themselves at risk for getting burned or burning out. Do matchers and takers step up?
Because people often present meaningful requests in Reciprocity Rings, many matchers are drawn
in by empathy. When I heard a powerful CEO’s voice tremble as he sought advice and connections to
fight a rare form of cancer, the empathy in the room was palpable. “I was surprised by how much I
wanted to help,” one financial services executive confides. “My job requires me to be very task-
focused and financially oriented. I didn’t expect to care that much, especially about a stranger I’d
never met. But I really felt for his need, and wanted to do whatever I could to contribute and fulfill his
request.”
Even when they don’t empathize, matchers still end up making plenty of contributions. It’s very
difficult to act like a pure matcher in the Reciprocity Ring, since it’s unlikely that the people you help
will be the same people who can help fulfill your request. So the easiest way to be a matcher is to try
to contribute the same amount that other people do. The Reciprocity Ring creates a miniature version
of Panda Adam Rifkin’s network: participants are encouraged to do five-minute favors for anyone
else in the group. To make sure that every request is granted, participants need to make multiple
contributions, even to people who haven’t helped them directly. By giving more than they take,
participants amplify the odds that everyone in the group will have their requests fulfilled, much like
Panda Adam setting a pay-it-forward norm in his network.
But what about the takers? Many audiences are concerned that takers will capitalize on the
opportunity to get help without contributing in return. To examine this risk, Wayne Baker and I
surveyed more than a hundred people about their giver and taker values. Then they participated in the
Reciprocity Ring, and we counted the number of contributions they made. As expected, the givers
made significantly more contributions than the takers. The givers averaged four contributions each.
michael s
(Michael S)
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