Hillbilly Elegy

business habits of rich people, and I told
her as much. “Shut up, you fucker,” she
told me. “Everybody knows rich people
love to golf.” But when I practiced my
swing in the house (I didn’t use a ball,
so the only damage I did was to the
floor) she demanded that I stop ruining
her carpet. “But, Mamaw,” I protested
sarcastically, “if you don’t let me
practice, I’ll never get to do any
business on the golf course. I might as
well drop out of high school now and get
a job bagging groceries.” “You smart-
ass. If I wasn’t crippled, I’d get up right
now and smack your head and ass
together.”
So she helped me pay for my lessons