Hillbilly Elegy

everyone around me did; I did it to
survive. Disagreements were war, and
you played to win the game.
I didn’t unlearn these lessons
overnight. I continue to struggle with
conflict, to fight the statistical odds that
sometimes seem to bear down on me.
Sometimes it’s easier knowing that the
statistics suggest I should be in jail or
fathering my fourth illegitimate child.
And sometimes it’s harder—conflict and
family breakdown seem like the destiny I
can’t possibly escape. In my worst
moments, I convince myself that there is
no exit, and no matter how much I fight
old demons, they are as much an
inheritance as my blue eyes and brown