The Book of Joy

reminder that we were not connected. Now, as the Dalai Lama was
speaking, I wondered if the averted eyes of my childhood, waiting for the
elevator or in the subway, were perhaps the shame of being physically
close and emotionally distant.
“We are same human beings,” the Dalai Lama said, returning to one
of his most profound refrains. “No need for introduction. Same human
face, when we see one another we immediately know this is a human
brother or sister. Whether you know them or not, you can smile and say
hello.” I thought of the times that I had smiled and spoken with warmth
to the person waiting for an elevator or standing in a subway. Yes,
sometimes my bid for human connection was met with confusion, since it
was not the social expectation, but most often there was a relieved smile,
as if we had broken a trance and were once again acknowledging our
human bond.
“Our whole society has a materialistic culture,” the Dalai Lama said.
“In the materialistic way of life, there’s no concept of friendship, no
concept of love, just work, twenty-four hours a day, like a machine. So in
modern society, we eventually also become part of that large moving
machine.”
The Dalai Lama was naming a deep pain in the chest of modern life,
but one that was so common we had forgotten that it was not normal. I
thought of what the Archbishop had said of Ubuntu, how we are who we
are through one another, how our humanity is bound up in one another.
The Dalai Lama had explained that in Buddhism there is the
recognition of our interdependence on every level—socially, personally,
subatomically. The Dalai Lama had often emphasized that we are born
and die totally dependent on others, and that the independence that we
think we experience in between is a myth.
“If we stress secondary level of differences—my nation, my religion,
my color—then we notice the differences. Like this moment now in
Africa, there is too much emphasis on this nation or that nation. They
should think that we are same Africans. Furthermore, we are same human
beings. Same with religion: Shiite and Sunni, or Christian and Muslim.
We are same human beings. These differences between religions are