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personal matters. When we relate to others from the place of compassion
it goes to the first level, the human level, not the secondary level of
difference. Then you can even have compassion for your enemy.
“So, we all have the same potential for affection. And now scientists
are discovering that our basic human nature is compassionate. The
problem is that children go to schools where they are not taught to
nurture these deeper human values, so their basic human potential
becomes dormant.”
“Perhaps our synagogues, our temples, and our churches,” Archbishop
Tutu added, “are not as welcoming as they should be. I really think that
we do need for these fellowships to do a great deal more to have those
who are lonely come and share. Not in an aggressive way, or in order, as
it were, to increase their records or their ranks, but really just keenly
interested in one person who comes and gets what they did not have
before—warmth and fellowship. There are programs that set out to break
down that loneliness.”

•           •           •

e often are alone without feeling lonely and feel lonely when we
are not alone, as when we are in a crowd of strangers or at a party
of people we do not know. Clearly the psychological experience of
loneliness is quite different from the physical experience of being alone.
We can feel joy when we are alone but not when we are lonely. After our
tea break, the dialogue returned to this topic.
“Your Holiness, we finished our last session talking about loneliness,
and I wanted to come back to the subject for one more question. Monks
spend a lot of time alone. So what is the difference between being alone
and being lonely?”
The Dalai Lama turned to the Archbishop to see if he wanted to
answer.
“No, I’ve not been a monk, man. You start.”
“Monks separate themselves from the material world, not just
physically but mentally. According to his religion,” he said, pointing to