The Book of Joy

“With reincarnation,” the Dalai Lama responded, “I’m not really sure
where I will be born, so much uncertainty. But you are quite sure you are
going to heaven.”
“Since the Chinese say they are going to decide where you are
reincarnated,” the Archbishop responded, “you must be nice to them.”
The Archbishop then looked down as if focusing inwardly on the
seriousness of the question—his own mortality. “I should say that for a
very long time, the thought of my demise was something that brought a
great deal of anxiety.
“I know I’ve had a number of near-fatal illnesses. As a child, I had
polio, and they say that my father went off to buy the wood for making
my coffin and my mother went off to get herself black clothes because
they thought I was at the end. In my teenage years I developed
tuberculosis and went to a TB hospital, where I noticed that almost all of
the patients who started to hemorrhage, coughing up blood, ended up
being pushed out on a trolley to the mortuary. I must’ve been about
fifteen or so when I began coughing, coughing up blood, too. I was sitting
down with this receptacle in front of me and each time I coughed, blood
just came out that way. I said, ‘God, if you want, if this is curtains for me,
then it’s okay.’ I have to admit that I was surprised at the calm and the
peace that came over me. Well, of course, you know that they didn’t
wheel me out on a trolley to the mortuary. Many years later, I met up
with Archbishop Trevor Huddleston, who used to come when I was in
hospital and visit me weekly for months on end. So it was many years
after, when we were both archbishops, that he said he was told by the
doctor, ‘Your young friend’—meaning me—‘is not going to make it.’
Well, I guess I seem to have made it for a bit since then.”
I have often thought about the strength that the Archbishop gained
from facing illness and death so early in life. Illness is one of the most
common sources of suffering and adversity that people face, and yet even
here, as with my father, people can find meaning and spiritual growth in
it. In many ways, it’s probably the most common motivation for people
to reevaluate and transform their lives. It’s almost a cliché that people
with serious or life-threatening illnesses start to savor each moment and