The Book of Joy

“Can you explain the role that humility plays in cultivating joy?” I
asked, as the Archbishop started laughing.
“They tell the story of a bishop,” he began, “who was about to ordain
candidates to the priesthood. They were speaking about virtues, including
the virtue of humility. One of the candidates came up to the bishop and
said, ‘My lord, I’ve been looking in the library to find a book on
humility.’ The bishop said, ‘Oh, yes, I’ve written the best book on the
subject.’”
I thought he might also share the joke he often tells of the three
bishops: These three religious leaders were standing before the altar,
beating their breasts with great humility, saying how, before God, they
were nothing. Shortly, one of the lowly acolytes in the church approached
and started to beat his chest, professing that he, too, was nothing. When
the three bishops heard him, one elbowed the other and said, “Look who
thinks he’s nothing.”
These stories about false modesty are funny because humility is not
something that one can claim to have. It is for this reason that I think that
the Archbishop was laughing about the question even before I had
finished asking it. He did not want to claim to be an expert on humility.
Nonetheless he and the Dalai Lama were saying that humility is essential
to a life of joy. And it’s exactly this humility that allows these two men
to be so approachable, so connected to others, and so effective in their
work in the world.
“There is a Tibetan prayer,” the Dalai Lama said, “which is part of the
mind-training teachings. A Tibetan master says, ‘Whenever I see
someone, may I never feel superior. From the depth of my heart, may I be
able to really appreciate the other person in front of me.’” And then he
turned to the Archbishop and said, “Sometimes you tell me to act . . .”
“Like a holy man,” the Archbishop finished.
“Yes, like a holy man,” the Dalai Lama said, laughing as if his being a
holy man was the funniest thing he had ever heard.
“Yes, yes,” the Archbishop said. “I mean, people expect that you
would have a presence and behave properly. Not take my cap and put it
on your own head. I mean, people don’t expect that from a holy man.”