The Book of Joy

is essential to any possibility of joy. When we have a wider perspective,
we have a natural understanding of our place in the great sweep of all that
was, is, and will be. This naturally leads to humility and the recognition
that as human beings we can’t solve everything or control all aspects of
life. We need others. The Archbishop has poignantly said that our
vulnerabilities, our frailties, and our limitations are a reminder that we
need one another: We are not created for independence or self-
sufficiency, but for interdependence and mutual support. The Dalai Lama
was saying that we are all born and all die in the same way, and at these
moments we are totally dependent on others, whether we are a Dalai
Lama or a beggar, whether we are an Archbishop or a refugee.
With the keen insight of a longtime friend and collaborator, Daniel
Goleman characterized the Dalai Lama’s attitude toward life: “The Dalai
Lama seems amused by everything that is going on around him, taking
pleasure in whatever is going on, but not taking anything too personally,
and not worrying or taking offense at anything that is happening.” The
Dalai Lama was reminding us throughout the week not to get caught up in
roles, and indeed arrogance is the confusion between our temporary roles
and our fundamental identity. When Juan, our sound technician, wired up
his remote microphone, the Dalai Lama playfully pulled on Juan’s Don
Quixote beard, which would start everyone giggling, most of all the Dalai
Lama. He was saying: Today you are the sound technician and I am the
Dalai Lama, next time maybe the roles will be reversed. Next time might
be another year or another life, as the idea of reincarnation does remind
us that all of our roles are temporary.
The word humility actually comes from the Latin word for earth or
soil, humus—which sounds a lot like but should not be confused with the
simple but delicious Middle Eastern chickpea dip, hummus. Humility
literally brings us back down to earth, sometimes with a thud. The
Archbishop tells the story of flying from Durban to Johannesburg during
the anti-apartheid struggle. A flight attendant said that one of the
passengers had asked if he would autograph a book. He recalls, “I tried to
look humble and modest, although I was thinking in my heart that there
were some people who recognized a good thing when they saw it.” But