The Book of Joy

make their daggers of self-doubt any less painful. I finally was able to
fall asleep when I realized that this was not about me, or my limitations. I
was simply the ambassador asking questions on behalf of all those who
wanted to benefit from the wisdom of the Archbishop and the Dalai Lama
—and I would not be alone during the interviews or in the writing of this
book. As the Archbishop had said, whether I was the best one or not, I
was the one who was there.
“We have a question from a boy named Emory,” I said. “It is
addressed to you, Your Holiness. He writes: ‘Your quotes always lift me
up and give me purpose when I am down on myself. What is the best way
to keep a positive attitude when things aren’t going your way?’ So here is
a boy who gets down on himself, the way we all do. How can we deal
with the self-critical voices that we all have?”
“So many people,” the Dalai Lama said, “seem to struggle with being
kind to themselves. This is really sad. You see, if you don’t have genuine
love and kindness toward yourself, how can you extend these to others?
We must remind people, as the Archbishop has said, that basic human
nature is good, is positive, so this can give us some courage and self-
confidence. As we said, too much focus on yourself leads to fear,
insecurity, and anxiety. Remember, you are not alone. You are part of a
whole generation that is the future of humanity. Then you will get a sense
of courage and purpose in life.
“Now, we should also realize that the recognition of our own
limitations and weaknesses can be very positive. This can be wisdom. If
you realize that you are inadequate in some way, then you develop effort.
If you think, everything is fine and I’m okay just as I am, then you will
not try to develop further. There is a Tibetan saying that wisdom is like
rainwater—both gather in the low places. There is another saying that
when the spring bloom comes, where does it start? Does it start on the
hilltops or down in the valleys first? Growth begins first in the low
places. So similarly if you remain humble, then there is the possibility to
keep learning. So I often tell people that although I’m eighty years old, I
still consider myself a student.”
“Really?” the Archbishop said with a wry smile.