The Book of Joy

Humor was, as he said, a very powerful weapon.
The Dalai Lama visited Belfast in northern Ireland after the Troubles.
He was invited to attend a private meeting where victims and perpetrators
of violence were present. The atmosphere was very tense, as the suffering
was practically palpable in the air. As the meeting began, a former
Protestant militant spoke of how, when he was growing up, he was told by
other loyalists that what they did in opposition to the Catholics was
justified because Jesus was a Protestant and not a Catholic. Knowing that
Jesus was, of course, a Jew, the Dalai Lama laughed so hard that he
completely changed the atmosphere. Able to laugh at the absurdity of our
prejudices and our hatreds, everyone was able to communicate more
honestly and compassionately with each other.
“When we learn to take ourselves slightly less seriously,” the
Archbishop continued, “then it is a very great help. We can see the
ridiculous in us. I was helped by the fact that I came out of a family who
did like to take the mickey out of others, and who were quite fond of
pointing out the ridiculous, especially when someone was being a bit
hoity-toity. And they had a way of puncturing your sense of self-
importance.
“I mean, of course it’s not a laughing matter not to know where your
next meal is going to come from. It’s not a laughing matter when you get
up in the morning and you don’t have a job. Yet it was those people who
quite frequently were the ones who formed part of the crowds that used to
come to the political rallies, the funerals. And they were the people who
were able to laugh at themselves. And then their laughing at others would
be less malicious. They weren’t particularly number one in God’s garden,
but they were able to laugh at life in all its cruelty and uncertainty.
Humor really is the saving grace.
“I have been helped by my wife, Leah, who was very—is very—good
at keeping me humble. Once, we were driving, and I noticed that she was
a little smugger than she normally is. And then when I looked again at the
car in front of us, I saw a bumper sticker that said: ‘Any woman who
wants to be equal to a man has no ambition.’”
“Archbishop,” I said, “humor can also be very cruel. But your humor,