The Book of Joy

populated place in the world.
“Everybody wants a happy life—and our individual happy life
depends on a happy humanity. So we have to think about humanity,
discover a sense of oneness of all seven billion human beings.
“Tea or coffee?” the Dalai Lama said, once again returning from the
spiritual teacher to the host.
“I’ve got juice, thank you,” the Archbishop replied. “You were raised
with a very special status in Tibet. You must have come to this
recognition of oneness over time.”
“Yes, I have grown in my wisdom from study and experience. When I
first went to Peking, now Beijing, to meet Chinese leaders, and also in
1956 when I came to India and met some Indian leaders, there was too
much formality, so I felt nervous. So now, when I meet people, I do it on
a human-to-human level, no need for formality. I really hate formality.
When we are born, there is no formality. When we die, there is no
formality. When we enter hospital, there is no formality. So formality is
just artificial. It just creates additional barriers. So irrespective of our
beliefs, we are all the same human beings. We all want a happy life.” I
couldn’t help wondering if the Dalai Lama’s dislike of formality had to
do with having spent his childhood in a gilded cage.
“Was it only when you went into exile,” I asked, “that the formality
ended?”
“Yes, that’s right. So sometimes I say, Since I became a refugee, I
have been liberated from the prison of formality. So I became much
closer to reality. That’s much better. I often tease my Japanese friends
that there is too much formality in their cultural etiquette. Sometimes
when we discuss something, they always respond like this.” The Dalai
Lama vigorously nodded his head. “So whether they agree or disagree, I
cannot tell. The worst thing is the formal lunches. I always tease them
that the meal looks like decoration, not like food. Everything is very
beautiful, but very small portions! I don’t care about formality, so I ask
them, more rice, more rice. Too much formality, then you are left with a
very little portion, which is maybe good for a bird.” He was scooping up
the last bits of dessert.