The Book of Joy

Ubuntu. I had once asked the Archbishop how he handled worry and
insomnia, and he said that he thought about people all around the world
who also were awake and unable to sleep. Thinking about others and
remembering that he was not alone lessened his distress and his worries,
as he would say a prayer for them.
“I would give teachings when I was young,” the Dalai Lama
explained, describing one of the experiences that would cause him to
experience stress and anxiety. “I would be very nervous because I did not
see myself as the same as the people in the audience. Then after 1959,
when I left Tibet, I started thinking, These people are just like me, same
human being. If we think we are something special or not special enough,
then fear, nervousness, stress, and anxiety arise. We are the same.”
“What the Dalai Lama and I are offering,” the Archbishop added, “is a
way of handling your worries: thinking about others. You can think about
others who are in a similar situation or perhaps even in a worse situation,
but who have survived, even thrived. It does help quite a lot to see
yourself as part of a greater whole.” Once again, the path of joy was
connection and the path of sorrow was separation. When we see others as
separate, they become a threat. When we see others as part of us, as
connected, as interdependent, then there is no challenge we cannot face—
together.
“When I meet someone,” the Dalai Lama said, returning to what was
becoming an important theme, “I always try to relate to the person on the
basic human level. On that level, I know that, just like me, he or she
wishes to find happiness, to have fewer problems and less difficulty in
their life. Whether I am speaking with one person, or whether I am giving
a talk to a large group of people, I always see myself first and foremost as
just another fellow human. That way, there is in fact no need for
introduction.
If, on the other hand, I relate to others from the perspective of myself
as someone different—a Buddhist, a Tibetan, and so on—I will then
create walls to keep me apart from others. And if I relate to others,
thinking that I am the Dalai Lama, I will create the basis for my own
separation and loneliness. After all, there is only one Dalai Lama in the