unmistakable perfume, that salty aroma of deceit and
disloyalty. I try to hold my breath, but it’s too late.
She confronts me: “You’ve been cooking burgers again,
haven’t you?”
Some would call my love of burgers an obsession. Others,
a mental illness (hello, Mom), and still others—namely, my
wife—a source of constant sorrow. A couple years ago, she
forced us to move to a new apartment because the glorious
smell of burgers and grilled onions had managed to
permeate even the very walls. We may have to move again
soon.
I love my wife, but burgers are my mistress.

FIVE RULES FOR BETTER

BURGERS

Anybody can make a decent burger—that’s its

beauty—but   it  takes   a   bit     of  know-how    to  take    a

burger   from    decent  to  shockingly,     mind-blowingly

good.   Here    are the five    most    basic   rules   to  get you

there.

1. Choose your beef wisely, and grind it yourself.
   Even more so than with sausages, meat loaf, or
   meatballs, burgers really shine with freshly ground
   beef. I can’t possibly emphasize this enough. Buying