The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anxiety

168 The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook

DOING THE OPPOSITE OF YOuR

EMOTIONAL uRGES

There are good reasons for feeling whatever it is you feel. Even when they are painful, your emo-
tions are legitimate and valid. The larger problem is emotion-driven behavior, because acting on
emotions often creates destructive outcomes. Letting anger drive you to attack with words can
disrupt your relationships. Letting fear drive you to avoid critical tasks and challenges can paralyze
you at work.
A second problem with acting on emotion-driven impulses is that they intensify your original
feeling. Instead of getting relief, you may get even more consumed with the emotion. This is where
opposite action comes in. Rather than fueling your emotion, opposite action helps to regulate and
change it. Here are some examples of opposite action.

ExAMPLE: OPPOSITE ACTION

Emotion Emotion-Driven Behavior Opposite Action

Anger Attack, criticize, hurt, shout. Validate, avoid or distract,

use soft voice.

Fear Avoid, hunch shoulders. Approach what you fear, do

what you’ve been avoiding,

stand tall.

Sadness Shut down, avoid, be passive,

slump, hang your head.

Be active, get involved, set

goals, stand straight.

Guilt/shame Punish yourself, confess,

avoid, shut down.

If unfounded guilt, continue

doing whatever is triggering

guilt; if guilt is justified, atone

and make amends.

Notice that opposite action changes both body language (posture, facial expression) and
actual behavior. Opposite action isn’t about denying or pretending an emotion isn’t happening.
Rather, it is about regulation. You acknowledge the emotion but use the opposite behavior to reduce
it or encourage a new emotion.