The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anxiety

Advanced Distress Tolerance Skills: Improve the Moment 47

each inhalation and falling with each exhalation. Keep counting each breath, and with each exhale, feel
your body relaxing, deeper and deeper.
Keep breathing until your alarm goes off, and then slowly return your focus to the room you’re in.

uSE SELF-E NCOuRAGING COPING THOuGHTS

There are many distressing times in life when we all need to hear some encouraging words to keep
us motivated or to help us endure the pain that we’re experiencing. But there are many distressing
times like these when you are also alone, and you need to encourage yourself to stay strong. Often,
this can be done with self-encouraging coping thoughts. Coping thoughts are reminders of how
strong you’ve been in the past when you survived distressing situations, and they’re also reminders
of encouraging words that have given you strength. Coping thoughts are especially helpful when
you first notice that you’re feeling agitated, nervous, angry, or upset. If you can recognize your dis-
tress early on, you’ll have a better chance of using one of these thoughts to help soothe yourself.
Maybe there are even situations in your life that occur on a regular basis, when you can predict
that one of these coping thoughts might be useful.

list of Coping Thoughts

Here is a list of some coping thoughts that many people have found to be helpful (McKay,
Davis, & Fanning, 1997). Check () the ones that are helpful to you and create your own.

“This situation won’t last forever.”

“I’ve already been through many other painful experiences, and I’ve survived.”

“This too shall pass.”

“My feelings make me uncomfortable right now, but I can accept them.”

“I can be anxious and still deal with the situation.”

“I’m strong enough to handle what’s happening to me right now.”

“This is an opportunity for me to learn how to cope with my fears.”

“I can ride this out and not let it get to me.”

“I can take all the time I need right now to let go and relax.”

“I’ve survived other situations like this before, and I’ll survive this one too.”

“My anxiety/fear/sadness won’t kill me; it just doesn’t feel good right now.”

“These are just my feelings, and eventually they’ll go away.”