Basic Mindfulness Skills 65A “MINDLESS” ExERCISE
Obviously, mindfulness is a skill that requires practice. Most people get distracted, “zone out,” or
spend most of their daily lives being unmindful or running on autopilot. As a result, they then
get lost, anxious, and frustrated when a situation doesn’t happen as they expect it to. Here are
some common ways in which all of us have experienced being unmindful. Check () the ones
that you’ve done:
While driving or traveling, you don’t remember the experience or which roads you
took.While having a conversation, you suddenly realize that you don’t know what the other
person is talking about.While having a conversation, you’re already thinking about what you’re going to say
next before the other person has even stopped speaking.While reading, you suddenly realize that you’ve been thinking about something else
and have no idea what you just read.While walking into a room, you suddenly forget what you came to get.After putting something down, you can’t remember where you just put it.While taking a shower, you’re already planning what you have to do later and then
you forget if you’ve already washed your hair or some other body part.While having sex, you’re thinking about other things or other people.All of these examples are fairly harmless. But for people with overwhelming emotions, being
unmindful can often have a devastating effect on their lives. Consider the example of Lee. Lee
thought that everyone at work hated him. One day, a new employee whom Lee found attractive
approached him in the cafeteria and asked to sit down. The woman tried to be friendly and make
conversation, but Lee was more engaged in the conversation in his own head than he was in the
one with the woman.
“She’s probably just stuck up like the rest of them,” he thought. “Why would someone like her
be interested in me anyway? Why would she want to sit with me? It’s probably just a joke someone
else put her up to.” From the moment the woman sat down and tried to talk with him, Lee just
became angrier and more suspicious.
The woman did her best to make small talk. She asked Lee how he liked working at the
company, how long he’d been there, and she even asked him about the weather, but Lee never
noticed. He was so wrapped up in his own conversation, and in paying attention to his own self-
critical thoughts, that he never even recognized that the woman was trying to be friendly.
After five minutes of unsuccessfully trying, the woman finally stopped talking to Lee. Then a
few minutes later, she moved to a different table, and when she did, Lee congratulated himself. “I