moment with my parents and my brother, my Carrott clan. For Muncho,
this experience was a pilgrimage of self discovery after feeling
uprooted and then returning to his roots.
As he sat on my shoulder weeping, he whispered, “Golly,” and I
knew he really meant: “We must come back here Josh, and make this
hallowed ground, this sacred, orangey, vitamin A infused pasture, a
centerpiece of our story. Who knows? Maybe one day, this very place
will be the rousing crescendo of your bestselling autobiography!” I
knew, in that moment, that Muncho was right.
After finishing filming, while Ollie went to use the convenient free-
to-use porta-loos situated in the car park, Muncho and I were left
alone with our thoughts. I had so many thoughts. I felt so many things.
Muncho leant up against my cheek,
“I belong here,” he said, wiping the tears from his face.
“I know. You’re a carrot, I’m a Carrott, it’s almost like a
homecoming,” I sniffed. “I feel like a bird returning to the apple
blossom in Caterham after wintering in foreign and warmer climates. If
only I had wings to swoop with. Boy! How I would swoop.”
It was then that we heard a low hum humming. It was subtle at first,
but grew steadily louder and more sonorous, until you could feel it in
your bones. It was the sound of thousands of tiny feet, belonging to
hundreds of imaginary carrots like Muncho, converging on their
homeland. Muncho and I stood there transfixed, (I was 100% agog),
as carrot after spirit carrot poured out of the neighbouring fields,
woodland and sluice gates. As they gathered, they swayed and
whooped in a trance-like state. Muncho suddenly hopped off my
shoulder and joined the throng, he too in the throws of a hypnotic
waltz. There were scores of carrots now, as far as the eye could see,
imaginary carrots with arms and legs but no ears, swaying and swirling
in unison, with me at their centre. It was a bit like the beginning of ‘The
Lion King’ but with bequiffed vegetables. In disbelief I called out to
Ollie, but my voice was drowned out by the cacophony of marching
carrot feet.
As this orange kaleidoscope oscillated around me, I noticed a team
of elite imaginary carrots clasp themselves together to form a human