Once Upon A Time In Carrotland My YouTube Autobiography Which I Definitely Wrote All Of

(Ariana95) #1

Then Ollie returned from the toilet and all the imaginary carrots
disappeared like wisps of smoke upon the wind in winter. All that was
left of them was an 8 foot statue of Muncho in his silencing pose, at
the centre of the park. I was still completely agog. But as I’m usually
at least 80% agog, Ollie didn’t notice. I was left to ponder what in the
blazes it all meant. I had to ponder it in my brain, as none of it had
been caught on camera and Ollie was attending to his irritable bowel
syndrome in the free-to-use portaloos and so saw and heard none of
it.


A few months later we released the ‘Carrotland’ episode, and even
though it featured none of my carotenous prognostication, it still
received almost universal acclaim, with every viewer agreeing it was a
masterpiece. The vision that I had seen was perturbing, disconcerting,
unsettling and discombobulating. To this day, I’m boggled, bamboozled
and flabbergasted. But, I am eternally grateful to Ollie for insisting we
stop at Carrotland. I hoped that one day I would know what it all
meant, but I didn’t know. Now I know, but you won’t know until the
next chapter, then you will know, or will you? No. I mean yes, you will
know.

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