Once Upon A Time In Carrotland My YouTube Autobiography Which I Definitely Wrote All Of

(Ariana95) #1

There was significant media interest in my birth and a photographer
from the local paper, The Caterham Chronicle, asked for a snap of the
gorgeous baby. I looked completely adorable squashed into my crib,
but my parents were a little disappointed when they saw my chubby
cheeks and gleaming eyes in the paper the following day, under the

“How very dare they?!” she shouted! She wanted to sue the
newspaper, but my father talked her out of it, and she let it go,
reluctantly. My father secretly kept the newspaper and a few years
later, when my mother had had time to calm down, he framed and
hung it on the wall very close to the living room door in our house in
Caterham. I always thought it was slightly too close to the living room
door. It would have been better at the midpoint between the door and
the window and at the same height as my mother’s eyes.
When my mother found out she was going to have a baby, she
bought many baby clothes in all different colours and many matching
hats. Finding out that I could not wear any of the baby clothes was a
blow. My giant limbs could not fit into the clothes, and my head was
way too big for the hats. I had the biggest head for my age in the
whole world. She kept the clothes, hoping the next baby could wear
them, and it was such a relief for my mother when, down the line, my
sweet little brother Jordan was born.

A few months after my birth, my weight dropped tremendously,
which caused my parents to panic. They went back to the hospital
and the doctor assured them that nothing was wrong with me. I was
returning to a normal weight for a human child, but I was becoming
exceptional in other ways. It would soon turn out that I had a strong,
innate, intuitive and instinctive penchant for languages.

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