Once Upon A Time In Carrotland My YouTube Autobiography Which I Definitely Wrote All Of

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room, I heard whispers and scratching sounds. Someone was trying to
pick the lock on the front door!

I ran to my parents’ room and yelled at the top of my mezzo-
soprano lungs, “There is someone trying to break in! Hurry!”
My crime-savvy mother pulled her sword out from under her pillow,
and strode confidently out of the room while I stayed behind with my
father. After all those games of ‘Find the Sword’ I was surprised that it
had been under my mother’s pillow, where any idiot could have found
it or seen it sticking out. But thank goodness it was. I don’t know
exactly what happened, but my mother arrested the burglar. We did
not speak about this the following morning, and never have since. I
don’t know if the reason is because it was so emotional for my
mother, or because one crime blended so easily into her memories of
the many crimes she had thwarted. Whatever the reason, I have
learned to keep my feelings about it locked up tightly in a little corner
of my heart. It’s as I always say, emotions are for losers. Fortunately
Jordan had slept through the whole event, which was fortunate
because he already had a lifelong fear of burglars.

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