Once Upon A Time In Carrotland My YouTube Autobiography Which I Definitely Wrote All Of

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LEGUMASAURUS REX


The whole way through this major transition to life in Qingdao, Muncho
was a stalwart carrot-companion. He encouraged me and made me
feel so good about myself whenever I was down. He, at least, believe,
believe, believed in me. He had, however, much to my horror and
dismay, been joined by an imaginary arch-nemesis called
Legumasaurus Rex, an organic dinosaur made of lentils, with no
eyebrows. The lack of eyebrows sometimes made it hard to read his
emotions, which could be disconcerting. Muncho’s Yuletide wish every
year had been to have another carrot sitting with him on my shoulder,
someone to chitchat, chew the fat, and shoot the breeze with,
whenever I was busy with my human friends. But Legumasaurus Rex
was not exactly what he had wished for.
Legumasaurus Rex first appeared during the second week that we
lived in our new house made of bricks. I was in the bathroom, trying to
get yet another squirrel out of the U-bend, when I saw in my reflection
in the mirror, the organic dinosaur sitting comfortably on my left
shoulder. I froze. What was it? A lumpy dragon?


“Hello,” he said in a deep, sinister voice. “I am Legumasaurus
Rex, but you can call me Rex!”
I was not as surprised to see him as I had been when Muncho first
appeared, but it was still a bit of a surprise.


“Where is Muncho?” I asked. Finally he might have another buddy,
which would take some of the emotional load off me.
“Who cares?” he laughed in a way that I was not sure I liked. “I’m
here now! RARRRRRR!”


Something didn’t seem right about Rex. He could tell I was
suspicious, he could probably smell it. I had a terrible fear that all was
not well with my ever-faithful friend Muncho.
Rex stood up and danced around on my shoulders, trying to look
cute, but looking sneaky instead.

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